{"id":3806,"date":"2020-08-31T10:00:42","date_gmt":"2020-08-31T08:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.anovapeneira.gal\/?p=3806"},"modified":"2020-08-30T08:34:56","modified_gmt":"2020-08-30T06:34:56","slug":"nova-anormalidade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.anovapeneira.gal\/index.php\/2020\/08\/31\/nova-anormalidade\/","title":{"rendered":"Nova anormalidade"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Xo\u00e1n
Xo\u00e1n Carlos Caballero\n– Mestre no CEIP de Salvaterra<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Nunha farmacia, despois de facer varios minutos de cola, entra un educado atracador a cara descuberta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014D\u00e9ame t\u00f3dolos cartos que te\u00f1a na caixa \u2014murmuroulle \u00e1 farmac\u00e9utica.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014De ningunha das maneiras, pero a quen se lle ocorre facer un atraco sen mascari\u00f1a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014D\u00e9ixese de bromas se\u00f1ora que eu xa bastante fixen con respetar a cola.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Ante todo hai que ser profesional, mire os camareiros nos bares…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Estame dicindo que non fago ben o meu traballo?\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Pois claro. Vostede non ve a todo o mundo coa cara tapada?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Si, pero e que eles non son os atracadores.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Sabe que lle digo? Que mentres non se po\u00f1a a mascari\u00f1a non o atendo \u2014insistiu a dona da farmacia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O asaltante comezaba a alporizarse e d\u00edxolle \u00e1 se\u00f1ora. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Mire, estamos en fase d\u00faas\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Como que en fase d\u00faas! Vostede non se entera, actual\u00edcese por favor!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Se\u00f1ora, a mi\u00f1a paciencia ten un l\u00edmite, estoume fartando\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Rep\u00edtollo, se non se cubre non o atendo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014De acordo, vostede ga\u00f1a. Deme o dichoso bozo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014De que tipo \u2014cont\u00e9stalle a farmac\u00e9utica?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Como que de que tipo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Temos estes tres modelos FFP2, FFP3, N95.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un home, que estaba \u00e1 cola dirixiuse ao atracador:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014A ver si vamos acabando que non temos todo o d\u00eda!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A farmac\u00e9utica, como o home estaba lonxe, e como apenas se lle entend\u00eda coa boca tapada, pensou que era o socio do asaltador e dirix\u00edndose a el d\u00edxolle:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Ach\u00e9guese que entre a gripe que te\u00f1o e a mampara anticontaxio de metacrilato, non o escoito.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Non podo, estar\u00eda pasando por alto a normativa que regula a distancia de seguridade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorprendida pola sensatez da resposta e do cumprimento inquebrantable das medidas hixi\u00e9nico-sanitarias das que fixo gala esta persoa, a farmac\u00e9utica aproveitou unha vez m\u00e1is para arremeter contra o desenmascarado:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Ve? A\u00ed o ten, f\u00edxese como o seu compa\u00f1eiro pensa na sa\u00fade das s\u00faas v\u00edtimas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Pero que compa\u00f1eiro si eu son aut\u00f3nomo non asintom\u00e1tico!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Ben, pois ent\u00f3n non se queixe que seguro que est\u00e1 a cobrar un ERTE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nese intre achegouse o auxiliar co c\u00f3bado en alto e o caco p\u00faxose \u00e1 defensiva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Tranquilo, s\u00f3 quero saudalo e animalo a cubrirse a cara \u2014dille o auxiliar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014E certo, que se me esquecera, tam\u00e9n as temos reutilizables e con dese\u00f1os orixinais \u2014engadiu a farmac\u00e9utica. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Cumpren coa norma UNE 0065? \u2014preguntou outro cliente. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Por suposto, estas ve\u00f1en de Wuhan, zona cero e con certificaci\u00f3n ISO!\u2014respondeu esta ofendida pola pregunta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O atracador fora de si levantou o xersei e amosando un revolver ameazou a boticaria:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Non llo repito m\u00e1is, non me faga sacar o ferro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Non me diga que tam\u00e9n trae un arma alma c\u00e1ndida!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Pois menos mal porque se non traio unha, far\u00eda de novo alusi\u00f3n a mi\u00f1a falta de profesionalidade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Xa, pero non sabe canto tempo sobrevive a Covid nos metais? Quero pensar que estar\u00e1 desinfectada con xel hidroalc\u00f3holico. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Mire se\u00f1ora, non a aguanto m\u00e1is!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Negacioncista, Miguel Bos\u00e9, Bolsonaro \u2014espetoulle esta a modo de insultos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Estame po\u00f1endo dos nervios e padezo de ansiedade, d\u00e9ame un cigarro electr\u00f3nico xa, ou l\u00edome a tiros aqu\u00ed mesmo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Eu doullo pero recorde que agora hai unha nova normativa para os fumadores. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Feis nius se\u00f1ora, iso non son m\u00e1is que feis nius!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014B\u00f3telle unha ollada ao DOG do 12 de agosto se non o cre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O atracador exasperado abandonou o establecemento cag\u00e1ndose na Covid e antes de sa\u00edr berrou:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014Que ben se viv\u00eda con Franco e co SARS-CoV!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mentres, na cola, unha persoa co xornal na man coment\u00e1balle a outra que durante a pandemia descendera a delincuencia. O interpelado respondeu:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014A verdade e que tal como est\u00e1n as cousas faise dif\u00edcil ata delinquir. A xente \u00e9 cada vez m\u00e1is tiquismiquis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poucos d\u00edas despois o atracador acudiu a manifestaci\u00f3n da Praza de Col\u00f3n convencido de que estabamos ante unha plandemia. Acabou contraendo o virus. Ingresou no hospital e negouse a recibir o tratamento por medo a que lle colocaran un microchip. Aos m\u00e9dicos non lle quedou m\u00e1is remedio que conectalo a unha m\u00e1quina de osixenaci\u00f3n por membrana extracorp\u00f3rea (ECMO) pero a\u00ednda as\u00ed nada se puido facer por salvarlle a vida. Descanse en paz. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nunha farmacia, despois de facer varios minutos de cola, entra un educado atracador a cara descuberta. \u2014D\u00e9ame t\u00f3dolos cartos que te\u00f1a na caixa \u2014murmuroulle \u00e1 farmac\u00e9utica. \u2014De ningunha das maneiras, pero a quen se lle […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":584,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3806","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-artigos-de-opinion"},"yoast_head":"\nNova anormalidade -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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